Somehow, I survived the dentist's office.
And let me tell ya, it wasn't without a little weirdness (when is anything I ever do not a little weird?).
The office itself was lined with chrome, neon, video games, and wacky couches. It felt a little like being in a diner or at a theme restaurant in the mall. After filling out the paperwork and reading the literature they handed me ('My Dentist is a Vampire' and Other Dental Misconceptions), I got X-Rayed, poked, prodded, cleaned and ... that was it.
According to the hygienist (who I discovered likes Jaegerbombs and hanging out with her husband), she couldn't believe I hadn't been to the dentist since 1999 - my teeth, she said, were in superb shape. Apparently, I am either blessed with good genes or, I am the toothbrushing MASTER. All in all, I've got six tiny cavities they want to fill (none of which, the dentist later sad, are my fault directly - my teeth have these grooves in them which can make total cavity prevention damn near impossible) and that was it. Zero plaque. Not bad, for not going in almost 10 years, eh?
Also, a startling revelation: the human mouth contains 32 teeth, total. And unless you have any extracted, 32 is the number.
Except, because I always have to be different, I have 33 teeth. I have a random, extra, gimpy tooth on my upper right jaw. I saw it on the X-Ray. It's all the way in back, hidden beneath my gums - terrific.
I wonder if I can somehow parlay this into cash? And I wonder ... am I the wave of the next generation of super humans?? Or am I a throw-back to carnivorous times when humans needed more teeth to gnash their meat?
You decide in my new, weekly poll on the left.
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1 comment:
I always knew you were different :-) but that's what makes you special!
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