Numb & Dummer

I made an unprecedented decision for myself about a month ago, and I am now very much regretting it.

After not having been for nearly 10 (yes, 10) years, I made an appointment with Dr. Stein, DDS.

The dentist.

Now, I'm not a namby pamby wimp. I braved getting a tattoo, I got a hollow needle pushed through my belly button, and I've broken limbs before. But the last time I went to the dentist, I think I had an unrealistic vision of what my pain threshold really was.

The story goes like this:
I had a moderately sized cavity in one of my molars, and needed to have it filled. While my dentist at the time, Dr. Rod, prepared his tools, I remember sitting in the chair and panicking - not about the pain of having a small metal drill bit burrow into the bone of my jaw, but about the odd sensation (and subsequent panic I knew it would induce) of getting Novacaine. The mere thought of another hollow needle - this one delivering a tissue-numbing fluid - shoved into my gums freaked me out.

So, like an idiot, I asked Dr. Rod to not use Novacaine.

And so he proceeded, whirring drill bit in-hand. And for the first fractions of a second of drilling, I began to think Hey, this isn't so ...

YIKES.

Have you ever gotten that "cold pain" from biting into a Popsicle? It's kind of a searing pain that jolts up the side of your face and then re verbs down to your toes? Well - it was kind of like that. Only, infinitely worse. Truly, the pain was so intense, that I couldn't bear to have him continue, and asked him to stop twice while I tried not to pass out.

So you see, this is why I am terrified of the dentist. Not only am I afraid of the pain (because I've been there, and it AIN'T pretty), but because I'm afraid of being numb, too. I just know it's going to trigger a panic attack.

It's a good, old-fashioned lose-lose situation.

And I'm coming face-to-face with it on Saturday at 1:15.

*Shudder*